Happy Christmas from India

As you probably know Jesus and the whole stable story isn't very big news in India, so tracking down a bit of crimbo memorabilia was no mean feat. Here is me and the Irish one saying our goodbyes before heading our separate ways for the holidays.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I hope you have/had a lovely chilled time with your family and friends.

Love you lots and look forward to seeing you all at some stage in 2008

Stay happy, safe and enjoy yourself as much as you possibly can

Vic xxx

I do, I do, I don't

Here I am at the Taj Mahal, posing for my tourist-tastic piccie.


The reason it is such a significant photo is because it was the last one taken of me as a single girl. Yes that's right, I"M ENGAGED!!!


There is only one small problem...... I got engaged more than once.

As was requested of me I shunned the delights of the worlds most photographed building and instead concentrated my efforts on finding a man.

Scanning the crowds for the first suitable candidate, I plunged down on one knee as white jumper man was approaching, only for him to laugh and say NO!

Not one to take rejection kneeling down, I decided that an older man was perhaps the way forward. Enter candidate number two. And wouldn't you know, he was delighted and it was a resounding YES (much to the confusion of his accompanying wife!).

Brimming with new found confidence I jumped into proposal number 3. Another YES! Perhaps then too confident, I jumped on green shirt man with such vigour that he didn't even wait to hear the end of the question. He look horrified and literally ran away.

Two YES and two NO. It was all to play for in the final hit. I took my time and choose my target well. Along came little black & White jumper man with his welcoming face and happy demeanor. Surely he was only biding his time at the Taj till an older western woman came to sweep him off his feet!

I made my approach, gently took his hand in mine, lowered myself to the ground and uttered the immortal line ..... "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" He lowered his eyes to meet mine, smiled his beautiful, innocent smile, giggled a little and said ...... 'no'.

What?!?!?!?!

I was gutted.

Dejected and deflated I dragged myself up and shuffled away humiliated.

But wait, Nuala shouted. He's coming back.

And so he was.

"I change mind" he smiled. "Ask me again"

So swallowing what little pride I had left, I once again got down on bended knee and repeated the crucial line.

"YES, YES" he beamed. "I will marry you" swiftly followed by "where do you live?"

Some might say he was looking for a green card but I know it was love at second sight!

So my future husband and I will be heading back to the UK any day now. Engagement presents at the ready.....

I'll have a P please Bob

True Story...

We were sitting outside a restaurant last night and my friend Andy needed the loo. It was quite a decent restaurant and when Andy asked the waiter the way to the toilet, the waiter politely said he'd show him the way.

He took him to the side of the restaurant and said 'Is Indian toilet OK?', when Andy replied 'yes', the waiter pointed to the side wall of the restaurant and said 'there you go'. 

BRILLIANT!

A Tomboy at Last

When I was growing up I was always jealous my sister was called Terrie. I wanted a boy's name! Well I have finally got my wish. In India Vicky is a boys name. 

When the children ask my name and I say Vicci, they repeat 'Nicky?' the girls equivalent. I say 'No', 'Vicci' which results in them falling about laughing, or pointing 'you a boy', 'you a boy' as just happened outside the internet cafe.

Maybe it's time to start growing my hair long again !!

Absolutely Charming

Never one to look a gift horse (or gift snake) in the mouth, I happened upon this wee boy and his slimy friend outside a fort in Jaipur.  Quite bemused that I wanted to do the 'charming' myself, he handed over the whistle and watched me poo myself as I blew into it and the snake shot out my way!!! I'm happy to admit that I was terrified as Andy kept telling me he hadn't quite got a picture and could I get a bit closer. In hindsight, I don't know what was more dangerous, antagonizing a snake OR putting the gob filled whistle near my mouth. 

Another challenge ticked off and I live to see another day!

Mirror, Signal ...sod that, just go !!

Second week and time to attempt a second challenge. As you can't walk down the streets of Udaipur without being run over by a tuk, tuk, I decided it was time to get in the driving seat and pick myself up a fare. Not one to take to the roads lightly, I decided that a driving lesson was definitely the way forward. Enter TIGER, the best Tuk, Tuk driver in India. After crossing his palm with silver (or a smelly, tattered note to be precise) he let me take charge of his machine.

Believe it or not, the words duck to water come to mind. I totally had it pinned from the off. I was expecting to complete this challenge by getting a passenger to let me start up the engine and chug a few metres down the road. Oh no. The lovely lady in the pic is Caitlin a 20-year-old student from Melbourne and she had a 25 minute sightseeing tour of Udaipur with me at the helm (and Tiger's foot hovering over the brake!!). God love her, she even paid me.

Job done.

I am now fully trained in how to hold my hand permanently on the horn whilst one handedly navigating a roundabout and blasting bollywood tunes from the boot!!

Definitely one of the most fun (if somewhat hair-raising) things I have done in India so far!!!

Lola lends a hand

Less than a week in and I've got one of the challenges under my belt already. The first piccie is of a lovely camel called Lola, and the second pic is of me, in a sari, on the lovely camel.

This in itself may not seem too impressive. Buy a sari, find a camel - job done!

In principle, I agree.

The real reason you should admire my completion of this challenge is because the night before the challenge, I was struck with my first bout of Delhi Belly in the desert. Just prior to having this pic taken I had emptied the contents of my stomach in the sand. Two hours later, after alighting the camel, I projectile vomited over three people in the back of a jeep - how NOT to make friends in India. Ho Hum.

If I had also taken piccies of the other people mad enough to get up at 6 O'Clock in the morning to ride a camel, you would have noticed a lot of jumpers, scarfs, hoodies and hats. It was more than a tad chilly.

Please note that although it looks like I am wearing a particularly unstylish purple tracksuit, I assure you there is a hell of a lot of sari tucked in my pants !!!!

Sari Angels

Forget Charlie's Angels, I think I'm on to a winner with my latest Bollywood script idea....

Sari's Angels!!!

Mrs Vicci Ramjeet

Since arriving in India I have discovered I am 'very fine', I am also 'mighty fine' and on one occasion was known to be 'sexy fine'. It seems I have finally found my market. Given this enthusiastic reception from the opposite sex, I have decided I am in a perfect place to find a husband. Thea, my friend in Delhi is threatening to put my profile in the local paper. Unlike our personal ads that run to a couple of lines and dodgy abbreviations I can never understand (G.S.O.H, W.A.N.K etc), dating is a serious business here and you pretty much have to divulge your CV. Apparently because of my skin colour, caste and education, I could be a bit of a catch. However because I'm an old bird, I have to knock off a few bachelorette points. I have no kids, so again that is a bonus, but you have to declare your salary so I'm pretty buggered in that department as well. Believe it or not they even print their fathers profession and his income on the ads.

I have decided to forgo the media middleman and head straight to a serious no nonsense source. Enter 'The Mathchmaker'. Expect an announcement of my engagement any day now.

And on the subject of dating, I think singletons in London could learn a lot from couples over here. As you can see from my lovely piccie, each house is painted with the names of the occupants and the date they got married (in very tasteful green lovehearts). So the next time a guy picks you up in a bar and invites you back to his, you can pretty much call it a day as soon as you see Kev & Shaz 1992 printed on his cul-de-sac semi !!!! It would certainly save a lot of heartbreak in the long run!

The Challenges

I'm blogging again so that can I only mean one thing.... I'm on the move again !!

Followers of my recent adventures will no doubt remember Challenge China, which resulted in me jumping on a soldiers back, lying down in Tianmen Square, eating Yak intestines and liberating a china man's underpants !!

Well my weird and wacky 'friends' have once again joined forces and I am proud to present to you... Challenge India.

THE CHALLENGES (in no particular order of how much they scare me!!)

===============

1. Propose to five strangers on bended knee outside the Taj Mahal

2. Race an Indian lady whilst balancing a head basket

3.Get a piggy back ride from an Indian man

4. Charm a snake

5. Lie on a bed of nails

6. Complete a journey and charge a fare from a passenger riding a rickshaw

7. Ride an elephant whilst drinking Malibu

8. Offer to cook an Indian family a curry

9. Wear a sari whilst riding a camel

It may seem strange to have an odd number like 9. There are in fact 10 challenges but the last one is a bit x-rated and my nan might read this, so for now I'm keeping schtum! I can only do it in Australia (apparently) so if I actually do it - I promise to tell you when I get there!!

Wish me luck and stay in touch

I'm headng back to my hotel now and am guessing at least 5 men will call me 'sexy fine' before I get there. You've gotta love India!!!

Love Vic xxxx